Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Manual Over Autofocus.
The sentiment of that statement rings true with how I feel. The execution? Not so much. Many physicians stop short of treating the disease, let alone the patient. Instead, they treat the symptom or a specific manifestation of the disease. An ID doctor treats the infection; the surgeon opens and drains the abscess; the endocrinologist manages the diabetes. This makes sense from a practical point of view. If I have learned anything over the past two and a half years it is that I cannot learn everything. An expert should handle the complexities and nuanced management of certain conditions. But what happened to treating the patient? (This is not to say specialists cannot treat the patient instead of a symptom or aspect of disease; it simply means I haven't seen it yet. I am wanting to, believe me.)
Recently on rounds, the attending reminded us that "In medicine, we treat the patient, not the numbers." This statement was made regarding abnormal lab values. It was meant to remind the students and residents that we cannot simply try to correct abnormalities on paper; we must look at the patient clinically to confirm, adapt, and change plans. Sadly, it was meant on nothing more than a level of clinical correlation. As opposed to a grander statement about the lofty responsibility of treating the patient, it was about confirming laboratory findings clinically. What this statement actually did for me was point out the failures of the medical team to go beyond a talking point and treat more than the patient; I instead wondered: what about the person?
Too often it seems medicine becomes bogged down in labs or physical findings. Sodium is corrected; cholesterol is monitored. While these things are astoundingly important, I do not want to be a physician who works through tunneled vision. I do not want to be a physician who treats the patient instead of the disease.
I want to be the doctor who cares for the person.
Most of the people I have worked with thus far- who no doubt care about patients immensely and typically practice good medicine- do not focus on the patient as a person. Maybe this is naive and foolish. Maybe I cannot actually appreciate the weight of what it means to be a physician and all its struggles because I haven't reached that point yet. Honestly, I do not know and don't get me wrong: there have been a handful of docs who continually impress me both with their control of medical knowledge and their approach to patient care. Such physicians do exist. I just suppose my hope is to join their ranks in one and half years (technically) and four and half years (board-certified-ly).
Until next time.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
All Work and No Play
For this I apologize, but sadly, school and all of its craziness take priority. In the mean time I hope everyone else enjoys the spring for me. I'll see you for a week and a half in the summer. (For fun, check out the new countdown at the bottom of the blog.)
Until next time.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Alive and Kicking
Much to my surprise, or at least cautiously optimistic belief, I successfully defeated the modular of Brain and Behavior. A nine week behemoth, it was advertised to be the most challenging module of the first two years of school- a reputation it seemed both pleased to have and eager to maintain. The most enjoyable result of being done? No more anatomy. A year ago we started in the cadaver lab and have sense made our way from the heart and lungs, through the GI tract, all around the GU system, up and down the extremities, and lastly into the brain, head, and neck. While dissection lab was usually pretty nice and a change-up from regular lecture, it's really nice to be freed from the afternoon time commitment and additional exams.
We're now into the module of Blood and Lymph which is going fairly well; it's very pathology focused which might mean a test that has its devil in the details. I still want nothing more (going on 2 weeks later) than to revel in the joy of being done with B&B, but have decided to get back to the grindstone. If I'm going to dance on the grave of this semester, I want to be damned sure it's dead. I don't know if it's cold in the ground just yet.
So that's what's going on. Fiction writing is still happening, slowly, but I am currently planning on waiting to post more until I have a better story formed. If I had more time, I'd like to be able to finish NaNoWriMo on time. I suppose with my late start, it'll just be a two/three/four month excursion for me. I mean, I'm a little busy with not shaving this month...
It is November, after all...
Until next time.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Nothing But The Rain
Certain passions, however, have endured throughout my life. One of my greatest can best be described as a love of the story. Since Kindergarten, I have loved to read and have been drawn in by books and stories. From Dr. Seuss to The Boxcar Children and Goosebumps to Scottish detectives, a perpetually walking man, and a sprawling epic, this has grown throughout my years and manifested most obviously in my studying English in college. Yet, my interest in stories has never been confined to just the written word, bound and printed. Movies, TV shows, plays, musicals, bands? They can all show the complex weave of human interactions and emotion. And I love it, being more than willing to commit and dedicate bits of my elusive free time (namely whenever I can't hang out with my wife/friends and my brain can no longer handle studying).
An interesting addition began during college. Rather than merely taking in the stories, I began to produce my own, writing fiction, first for a writing class and then for fun. Much to my chagrin, the time-sinks of life and medical school stopped any continual creative progress. This fact has been sitting my mind, gnawing at my post-central somatosensory gyrus (not really- I'm just in the Brain/Behavior module right now). Throughout the day, I'll imagine bits of scenes, shadows of characters, and inevitably think I should write a story with this. Considering the frequency of my blog updates, you can imagine my success rate (hint: dismal).
Because of this, and in an effort to change it, I'm going to try and write- short stories, scenes, chunks of dialog- and probably post them here. Will these be complete stories? Good stories? Worth reading? I honestly don't know. As any writer or would-be-writer will tell you: writing is hard. It's work; it's tough; but, I think it might be worth it.
In closing: what are some of your favorite stories? Personal stories, books, movies, TV shows, anything. Feel free to post away, if you're out there.
Until next time.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Pretty Shameful
Do people forget that any greatness the country has comes from its freedoms? You know, including Freedom of Religion? Does anyone really think things would be better if we were all the same? Do people not realize that there is a huge difference between Islamic Extremists and a person who is simply a Muslim? Just like there is a huge difference between a crazy member of Westboro Baptist Church (aka Fred Phelps) and a person who is a Christian?
Until next time.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
A Little More Personal
Things I Like More Than...Other Things?
-Extra computer storage space. External hard drives, USB sticks, blank CDs/DVDs, I am an equal opportunity advocate. I don't actually know why I have such a fascination with extra space (I may or may not have three external hard drives, two USB sticks, three spindles of discs, and an iPod), but I think it goes back to a feeling of freedom and potential. Do I have space to buy that [electronic media]? You bet your ass I do. I have space three hundred times over.
-Naming inanimate objects. This partially ties to the previous comment as I also name all of my computer drives (don't tell me "T-REX" isn't cooler than "C-Drive"), but it goes beyond that. My computer? Persephone. My T-Rex? Winston. Turtle Ottoman? Herbert. iPod? Nightwing. Phone? Alfred. Doing so just gives everything a bit of punch and personality. Try it. Need to kick you off? Spartacus.
-Discovering my water bottle to be full without remembering having filled it.
-Forgetting about E-learning assignments for class (online assignments) only to find that we never had any.
-Stepping outside on the first real day of Autumn. The air has just enough chill that you know Summer is finally over.
-Fruit snacks.
-Having a good author draw you in and then finding out he/she writes a series or has additional books.
-An indie girl, an odd but wonderful group of people, and two crazy Frenchmen.
-The Library.
-The Wire. I'm through season 3 and would argue it's the greatest story told on television, and I'm a frakkin' Lostie. ((+10 nerd points if you know what else I'm referencing here)).
-The unusual feeling/pain that you feel in your face after laughing so hard you start to cry and can barely breath. This exclusively happens with friends, usually when ridiculous stories are being told.
-Anything that satiates my ridiculous need for trivia.
-The ultimate gateway fruit.
-Hanging out with old friends, and feeling so at home it's almost like you never left.
Thoughts? I'd love to hear them in the comments below.
Until next time.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Unforseen Difficulties
There's a lot to do.
Assuming all of this works out, you're all of the sudden in medical school! You get to become a doctor! Your hard work has paid off! What does school do? Well, they continue with preparation, but this time it's to really become a physician (for now we'll ignore the residency process needed before you can become a practicing physician). In other words, the journey continues.
Some of you might be saying, "Wow, that sounds pretty tough." You, Hypothetical Constant Reader might be right. I won't argue that the process is lengthy and can be challenging. It's true. But I believe the real troubles arise from the unforeseen difficulties. The problems that pop up and create situations you've never even begun to consider in your- literally- years of preparation. All of that preparation has been so that when problems arise, you have the skill set and ability to assess and act. A child presents with shortness of breath. Assess and Act. A young man becomes violent and aggressive as he pesters you for drugs. Assess and Act. An old woman codes on the hospital floor. Assess and Act.
But what happens when unforeseen issues arise within the process of your preparatory education? How do you handle the different thoughts, opinions, ideas, and behaviors of your fellow students and teachers? The situations that arise away from the classroom? How do you assess and act? Do you stick to your own Self and values, possibly straying from the carefully constructed path of the Medical School Journey? Or do you keep quiet, noting your feelings, and hope for the best?
I suppose the real question is: can a person really complete this journey through medicine and end up the same core person at the finish line?
Now you might be asking, "What on Earth is he on about?"
Don't fret, Constant Reader. I'd say all is and will yet be well. I simply sit here thinking, on the cusp of a new year, I see all of the new M1s going through orientation. They anxiously and awkwardly begin their journey. Cramming onto a charter bus to breeze through the other campus. Nervously accepting the white coat in front of your peers. Awkwardly talking and drinking at the parties. I can't help but wonder, how different am I from them? Have I changed over the past year?
Looking back, I'm surprised by how much medical school, and all its tangential connections, have factored into my life in so many different ways. One year ago I wrote my thoughts and hopes on beginning school. Rereading those words now, I feel as though I managed pretty well. Was it easy and did I ever do it alone? Of course not; no way. Many thanks to all who've helped me (especially a certain redhead).
Two points of advice, however, given then by someone who is still wiser than me now, stick out more relevant today:
-Don't be dazzled by bullshit.
-Make sure all things pass the smell test for veracity, virtue, and truth.I think those are good things to think about and constantly return to. All things considered, I'm looking forward to my second year.
Until next time.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Ongoing Changes
You may or may not have noticed if you came here from a bookmark or previous address, that there was a feeder page and my blog has a new URL. If you're currently going, "What are you talking about?" you can pretty much ignore what I am, in fact, talking about. I originally wanted my blog to be orderly and systematic in its makeup. That flew out the window when my desired address, to match my desired title, "Paging the Doc," was not available. This led to the use of the alternate address -pagingdocgib- that you know and love (or maybe just bookmarked). Imagine my delight when I discovered my ideal name, that which so perfectly captures the essence of my writing (or maybe just the title of my blog), was available. I snatched it up!
So what does this mean for you? Nothing if you don't want it to. You can go to pagingdocgib.blogspot and be redirected here (although you will no longer see new posts in feeds/notifications), or you can do what the cool kids are doing and delete that old mismatched bookmark and save yourself a new new. The choice is yours. Choose wisely.
Well. If you insist.
From where we left off, I have now successfully finished my first year of school and am currently doing some summer work in Pediatrics. Let me repeat that.
I HAVE FINISHED A YEAR OF SCHOOL.
This is also known as, Good-lord-how-did-time-go-by-so-quickly or I-don't-feel-like-a-quarter-of-an-official-doctor. Other milestones? I have also now been married for over one year and, as expected, lived in a new city/apartment for the same amount of time. I cannot believe it.
Well. One thing. That my own sinuses would obey me and stop acting out so that I could be at the hospital now, rather than at home, seemingly blowing my brains out through my nose. I haven't had anatomy of the head yet, but I'm sure there's some kind of pathway/condition that could make that possible.
Until next time.
Monday, May 24, 2010
What Really Happened
So: if you're a LOST fan- SPOILERS.
If you're not a LOST fan- sorry, this blog will suck.

((Fun Did-You-Remember Moment: Sideways (aka dead) Jack looks in the mirror and asks his mother where he got that scar on his abdomen because he doesn't remember. She says he had his appendix out. We know better than that now. StabbedbyFakeLockeduringtheEpicLastBattletoSavetheIsland.))
Until next time.
Monday, April 19, 2010
A Return to Form?
Read: Never. His curiosity is insatiable!Side-Note Medical Reminder: Ladies- do a self breast exam once a month. Fellas- same goes for you with your testes. Seriously. I'm not kidding.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
The Beginning of the End of the Beginning

Until next time.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Health Reform? Huh?
- People who are currently deemed "uninsurable" due to preexisting conditions will be able to enroll in a new federal insurance program that should be established in 90 days. This will serve to kind of get the ball rolling until such conditions are banned outright for adults in 2014.
- Children under 19 cannot be denied covered due to preexisting conditions. Parents will be able to continue covering their children on their plans up until the age of 26 (unless they are offered insurance through their employer). This helps give kids access.
- The Medicare Part D Coverage Gap (the giant "doughnut hole" in coverage for drugs for the elderly) will be halved, with 50% being covered (up from zero). This helps fix a huge cost issue in providing pharmaceuticals to the elderly. Fun fact: Want to know the quality of the legislation that made Part D coverage, passed in 2006, so awesome? The main proponent of the legislation and head of the committee on pharmaceuticals, Former Congressman Billy Tauzin (R-LA), quit Congress two days after it passed and then immediately started working for the PhRMA lobbying group. Insane.
- Small businesses (less than 25 employees/wages of less than $50,000) qualify for a tax credit of up to 35% of the costs of health insurance premiums for employees.
- No more lifetime caps on insurance coverage and restrictions will be placed on annual limits.
- Insurance companies not cancel coverage retroactively except in cases of fraud.
- Increased government oversight of insurance costs and overhead. Companies must report how much they spend on medical care against administrative costs.
Your thoughts?
HOSPITALS: "The hospitals are ultimately the winners — one doesn’t increase spending on health care by nearly $1 trillion without some significant part of it flowing to hospitals," said Sheryl Skolnick, a hospital analyst with CRT Capital Group in Stamford, Conn.
· Pros:
o Worried they might get hit hard by the health legislation, hospitals were the first industry to make a deal with President Barack Obama and the Senate Finance Committee last year. Hospital groups agreed to give up $155 billion in Medicare funding over the next decade. But they are expecting that to make more than that – at least $170 billion - by having to treat fewer uninsured patients.
o An individual insurance mandate and subsidies for low-income Americans to buy coverage means hospitals will have more paying customers.
o Hospitals got guarantees that cuts in federal Disproportionate Share payments that they receive for treating the uninsured wouldn't occur until the insurance expansion is in place. And even then, some of the funding will remain to help hospitals treat illegal immigrants and recipients of Medicaid, the state-federal program for the poor.
· Cons:
o Hospitals are slated to lose $155 billion in federal funding over a decade.
o A new independent commission would have broad authority over Medicare spending, though most of its powers don't kick in until 2018.
· Mixed
o The bill sharply expands Medicaid, which will reduce the number of uninsured patients. But Medicaid typically pays less than private insurers or Medicare.
INSURERS : In the short term, insurers will gain enrollment but the bill may cost them in the long run if health costs don't come under control," said Peter Kongstvedt, a McLean, Va.-based insurance industry consultant.
· Pros
o The individual health insurance mandate, along with subsidies for low-income Americans, will bring insurers tens of millions of new customers.
o The expansion of Medicaid will also provide new customers; many recipients will be covered by private managed care plans.
· Cons
o The bill calls for $132 billion in cuts to Medicare Advantage plans, the private health plans that cover one in five seniors (only one in ten seniors in Kansas).
o New taxes on the industry total $70 billion over 10 years, beginning in 2014.
o Insurers are facing a new requirement to spend 85 percent of their premium dollars on health care, potentially leaving less money for administration, marketing and profits.
o The so-called "Cadillac" tax on high-cost health plans is aimed at insurers, though it won't take effect until 2018.
o Lawmakers called for relatively low penalties -- just $95 in 2014 – for not buying insurance, which could encourage many healthy people to skip coverage.
PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES: "Pharma is one of the big winners," said Nancy Chockley, president of the National Institute for Health Care Management, a nonpartisan health policy research organization funded by Blue Cross and Blue Shield plans and government grants.
· Pros
o The drug industry will put up $84.8 billion to help fund the legislation. Part of that goes to making brand-name drugs more affordable for seniors who hit the Medicare coverage gap - the "doughnut hole." But pharmaceutical firms stand to make much more in return. With more Americans insured, more can buy brand-name drugs.
o Expensive biologic drugs would get 12 years of exclusivity protection from generics. Obama, AARP and the generic drug industry were calling for a 5- or 7-year limit. While biologic drugs are only a small portion of industry sales, they represent the fastest-growing segment of the market.
o The legislation, despite the pleas of some lawmakers, doesn't make it easier for Americans to buy less expensive drugs from abroad. Nor does it allow the government to negotiate lower drug prices for Medicare.
· Cons
o The industry will pay out $84.8 billion in new fees, rebates and discounts over the next decade.
DOCTORS : "Primary care doctors got a bump up in funding and overall doctors got a pass," said Gail Wilensky, a senior fellow at Project Hope and former head of the Medicare program.
· Pros
o Primary-care doctors and surgeons practicing in areas with a shortage of physicians get a 10 percent bonus payment from Medicare from 2011 to 2015. Medicaid will pay primary care doctors Medicare rates in 2013 and 2014, to coincide with the Medicaid expansion. Medicare typically pays at least 20 percent higher rates than Medicaid.
· Cons
o No significant medical liability changes are in any of the overhaul bills, though there is money for states to run pilot programs.
· Mixed
o The Medicaid expansion, to everyone under 133 percent of the federal poverty level ($29,326 for a family of four) means more patients have insurance, though at the lower Medicaid rates.
o The current Medicare physician payment formula that each year threatens to slash doctor payments was left untouched. But Congress traditionally steps in to nullify the cuts.
NURSING HOMES: Because most nursing home patients are covered by Medicare or Medicaid, reducing the number of uninsured doesn't really help the facilities. As a result, the industry doesn't see much gain in the overhaul.
· Pros
o The bill would establish the Community Living Assistance Services and Supports (CLASS) Act, a national voluntary insurance program that would allow people to finance their long-term care in advance through payroll deductions. It would provide a cash benefit of about $50 a day for long-term care, including nursing homes, in the home and adult day care.
· Cons
Friday, January 29, 2010
A Complex Situation - Part 1: Politics
"elected them [Congresspersons] to make decisions not necessarily based on their goals or ambitions but based on our [the citizens'] situation and needs. It is their job to view the current national and global situation from every possible angle. It is their job to make sense of things and then approach the problem with the goal of improving the lives of those they serve."I think most everyone in the country would agree with that. We need less politicking, fighting, bickering, partisanship, and worrying about the next election and more cooperation and accomplishment. How does this play out in health care and with the reform that is being debated now?
Personally, I don't think that there is ever going to be a "right time" to work on health care reform or any big issue for that matter. Don't get me wrong, I want things to be well thought out and done right, but health care reform is not a new issue. FDR, Truman, Johnson, Nixon and Clinton have all attempted comprehensive health care reform. Only Johnson succeeded (partially) with the creation of Medicare and Medicaid. (Fun fact: FDR was going to propose socialized medicine until a certain country had to go crazy with that whole whacked-out-final-solution-socialism-world war thing. It's in this book which I've recommended before.) With the current political environment of every action being analyzed through the prism of the next election and everyone too worried to simply do the job they were hired for, I'd rather Obama make it a national issue (thereby doing his job) and try to get Congress to finish it.
Until next time.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
A Delicate Balance and an Open Forum
I've found myself slightly frustrated and perplexed at others' views of the current state of healthcare in our country and what is or is not being done to remedy any problems. I can't help but wonder, as I think everyone should, if I've become too closed off and set in my ways (or, let me be real, if I need to do a better job of articulating my point and its obvious truth to others).
Until next time.
Friday, January 1, 2010
A New Decade
While everyone seems to be excited about the new year (and sure, I'll go along with that), I'm more excited about the prospect of a new official decade. When I look back at the past decade, my mind explodes when I see just how much of my life has changed (and oddly stayed the same)
What changed? During the aughts I:
-cycled through middle school, high school, college, and am now studying medicine.
-have lived in three different towns and progressed from living at home to living "on my own" with people who are essentially brothers (if I didn't already have 3 good ones- that I gained in this past decade) to being wonderfully married.
-went from being an awkward and strange single teen to an awkward and strange (but very lucky) husband.
-became an uncle to not one, not two, but three hilarious boys.
What didn't change? I still:
-read incessantly (but like to think that I read better now thanks to that whole college degree thing)
-play and/or unabashedly enjoy video games/comic books/computers/tv shows/etc. (although I like to think my that tastes have refined)
-maintain a ridiculous competitive streak that school has been kind enough to keep alive.
The point of all this? I don't really know. Perhaps just to stop for a moment and think back at what's happened and changed over the past 10 years. You should, too. This is, after all, your life. Don't forget the immortal words of advice.
Until next time.
Edit: Upon reading this post, my new year resolution will be to slash my use of parenthesis. My bad.
Monday, November 23, 2009
The Heart of It All
CardioPulm.
That's right, after 8 weeks of straight science, 4 weeks of genetics and cancer, and 4 weeks of I2, or as I like to call it: 16-weeks-of-occasionally-interesting-but-typically-dreadful-information-on-tiny-molecular/cellular-changes-in-your body (it rolls off the tongue), we're finally digging into an 8 weeks module that will be tiny molecular/cellular changes sprinkled with gross anatomy!
The holiday season splits this module right down the middle, with cardiology falling sooner and pulmonary falling later. The truly exciting part? (Note: I say exciting now and reserve the right to change it to ridiculous once we begin) We start cadaver lab when we get back in January! Woo!
So, in honor of our new module, I shall post one of the many slides we were told to memorize today. Get pumped!

Hah! Get it? Pumped...
Until next time.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Health Care Reform: My Thoughts on "The Speech"
- the current state of it in the U.S.
- his thoughts on why reform is needed
- what reform should accomplish
- what is/is not true about the rumors that have circulated about the proposed reform "bill."
(I put "bill" in quotations because no official bill has yet been agreed upon. Four submitted, one more on the way)
So, enough about the actual event, what about the speech? Overall, I found myself pleased with the speech. The President seemed to approach the entire debate head-on and systematically work through some problem issues. Could there have been more discussed? Of course. More details given? Without a doubt. From a practical stance, however, he seemed to cover the most important things as best as he could for the time being (it was only a 45 min speech, after all). I was specifically glad to hear Obama address the few following things (among many others, because my opinion obviously weighs heavily on both him and Congress):
- The current outrageous costs of health care when compared to nations similar to the U.S. Health care accounts for ~18% of our GDP , while the next closest country slides in at ~9% (That link is also just a good website to checkout for general health care facts).
When compared, health rankings between the US and similar nations have no real statistical difference (measures include infant mortality, life span, cancer survival rates, etc). If there's no real different in that, and in patients' satisfaction with their physician, why does our cost so much more? For more information, this article summarizes things pretty well and pulls statistics from the CIA World Fact Book. - The idea that an extreme change, to either the right (complete individual privatization) or the left (national single payer), can not be viewed as a feasible option right now. The health care system ties too tightly into the entirety of our economy and way-of-life that any major overhaul would simply be too detrimental .
One of the most frustrating things to hear others talk about is how the US will have "socialized medicine." It's just not going to happen, and really, socialized medicine wouldn't actually be the end of the world (surprised, no?), we as a country just make terrible connections when we hear the world "Socialism" (You can thank the National Socialist German Workers Party for that, along with the Cold War. Oddly enough neither are true examples of socialism).
I'm also glad he addressed other silly things like the idea of death panels and the fact that many in the GOP (and some on the left) are actively choosing to not work because it's a better political move. I'm sorry, I like to think that you were elected to work. I wish all in Congress would work so hard that there was no one the people could NOT reelect them rather than sitting-bored because you'd rather not make waves. - His inclusion of Ted Kennedy's well-touted view that the health care debate should not be a political or partisan debate, but a moral debate. It's not often that I would prefer our Congress to debate moral issues, however the issue of health care strikes a different chord with me.
I've always thought a person's ability to easily access adequate medical care when needed as something that just makes sense. I cannot understand why people are more than okay with protecting citizens and their safety by having military/police/firefighters/clean water/etc but then run scared when prompted to protect a persons general well being.
It just does not compute for me. I think when people get sick they should be able to focus on getting well rather than even entertaining the idea that they might not go see the doctor because of access/cost.
If you missed the speech, NPR has a pretty good summary , or you can read the entire text here (it's a few clicks down, past an initial summary).
For a good website that just has interesting health care facts, check out the NCHC (National Coalition on Health Care- they were linked above too). I find the "Facts" tab at the top to be most interesting.
Sidenote: I wish my time stamp was accurate. Anyone know how to change that?
Lastly, what did you all think of the speech? Or how do you feel about the debate/reform? I'm happy to discuss or just see what other people think. Until next time.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
D-Day Minus Seven
Actually, that's not true. That's just melodrama. In one week, I will begin orientation for medical school. I am nervous, yes, but I am also really excited and worried and giddy and any other number of emotions. The spectrum of feelings comes from the unknown nature of what's to come. In a literal sense, I understand the entity of med school. I know that I'll have classes/tests/labs/etc and that I'll likely do just fine. I know people who are doing it now and who have finished. It is possible. Will it be a challenge (and by challenge I mean the hardest thing I've ever done)? Of course. But, I don't know (and I don't think you can know until you experience it) how I will handle life as a med student and the changes to myself and my life that come along with it.
Will my view of health care and what it should be in society change? My opinions and outlook concerning ethics and the obligations of others? There are big questions involved in starting something like this, or at least I imagine there to be. And lest we forget the other questions that inevitably arise: What will gross me out the most? Will I ever get used to the idea of people turning to me, the guy who builds fictional wooden cubes for fun and still routinely reads Calvin and Hobbes, for answers in huge life decisions?
I suppose more than anything, even with these questions and concerns, I'm still just really excited to start. I can only liken it to the first day of school, be it kindergarten or college. Right now the unknown still triumphs (although I suspect it always will) and I love the potential that exists. The thought of the amount of information I will learn (which will be but a fraction of what they teach) excites me and I think I'm as ready now as I'll ever be to begin.
But don't let me get ahead of myself. It's really the beginning of the beginning. I still have 7 days of freedom. I'm going to go read, play Xbox and make some chicken stir fry for dinner when my better half gets home. After I fold the laundry.

